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A newsletter from the Santa Barbara Independent exclusively for book lovers.

Hello, fellow bookworms!

Have you ever had that feeling where you come across a book, movie, or other piece of art that feels like you were meant to find it at this particular point in your life? I’ve had many magical moments like that over the years, but this one left me reeling.

Without getting too personal, I’ve been caring for a family member who’s been experiencing health issues, while juggling my full-time job, my social life, my mental health, and the upkeep of two households. (Somehow, I still find time to read, but it’d take a lot more than this to stop me!)

When Deborah Samuel’s name crossed my inbox, recommended by her friend and my colleague Sarah Sinclair, with the announcement of her book, Grace Through Fire: A Memoir of Murder, Tragedy, and Resilience, I was at first just excited to read the story of a brave, tough woman who triumphed over what life threw at her, having no clue what her story entailed.

Then I started reading.

Deborah begins a fight for her wife’s health, raising thousands of dollars to get her from their home in Rogers, Arkansas, to a world-renowned rehabilitation hospital in Colorado. She undergoes a caretaker boot camp to learn how to tend to Susan’s new needs. And she also finds herself having to battle a disgustingly unfair policy in place at the time that a same-sex spouse cannot benefit from a public school employee’s health insurance the same way a heterosexual spouse would, and even that Deborah cannot use her paid leave time to care for her wife as she is not recognized under the school system’s policies — no matter how legitimate their marriage certificate is. 

As the years go on and Deborah is caring for both her spouse and her mother, who has developed dementia, while also managing her job, she is run ragged by the endless responsibilities, a relationship that is turning verbally abusive, and an inability to manage her stress that turns into heavy drinking and unhealthy eating. At her lowest point, Deborah grabs for the closest rope she can find that might help pull her out of the mire: an invitation to a weight-loss group. From there, yoga. Cutting out alcohol. Taking 30 days for herself to do the activities that bring her happiness. From there, the sky’s the limit. 

Deborah begins the long process of rediscovering herself: her love for the great outdoors, travel, adventure, kayaking, and feeling in touch with nature and with her body and mind. And as she reassesses the path forward that she had been building and the new one that she can see in front of her, she finds the way to make it work — for the good of everyone.

This book nearly knocked me over with the weight of it: the shocking life events, the pain that overlays whole chapters. In a way I’ve found strangely rare in memoirs, Grace Through Fire is achingly honest. But more than that, the writing carries unmistakable notes of faith, humor, and hope throughout it, and I felt myself thinking, If she got through this, I can get through what I’m going through.

When I finally had the pleasure of meeting Deborah at her book launch party over the weekend and hearing her tell her story, she gives very much the same impression in person that I got of her through her book: kind, determined, and proud of her strengths while acknowledging her weaknesses. And, in true teacher fashion, she is motivated to share her story in the hopes that others can take something from it to improve their own lives.

Deborah Samuel’s story is a reminder that life is for living, not simply surviving, and that anyone can find themselves again and turn things around. But it’s going to take grit, humor, and a whole lot of heart.

She’ll be speaking at Chaucer’s Books tomorrow, October 14, at 6 p.m. I’ll be there, and I highly recommend you be too!

—Tessa, allbooked@independent.com